Living vs. aging

“You are old when regrets take the place of your dreams” – Jimmy Carter in “The Adult Years” – Frederic Hudson.

I viewed a documentary once on PBS that looked at how individuals deal with aging.
The documentary contrasted a couple in a nursing home with the mother of one the producers, who was in her early 90’s and still lived in her own Manhattan apartment.

The couple was in the nursing home because the wife was suffering from Alzheimer’s and her husband could no longer care for her on his own. He looked straight at the camera, while is wife incessantly jabbered at him incoherently and said “Old age is for the birds.”

The one on her own in an apartment was chipper, happily clanking away in her kitchen and completely scared her daughter by her pleasant yet steadfast refusal to live her life any other way. Her lifestyle exemplified the best possible scenario that Hudson discusses on how to have a good old age.

For some reason, I find myself thinking of economics and privileged lives when reading Hudson’s later chapters on what the 60s, 70s and beyond would look like. It seems that a rather optimistic and rosy portrait is painted.

I think of my own mother, who in her early 70’s, does seem to typify many of the strategies Hudson advocates to have good elder years. She keeps active in her church and many community groups, works out every day, vacations and maintains many friendships and acquaintances. And she also has the fortune to have the resources and good health to do so.

I think about Hudson’s prescriptions for longevity and I wonder how people not like my mother are able to do so – those in poor health and without the economic means. Although my mother’s good health may be in direct relation to her positive attitude, rather than a comfortable economic status. I imagine it’s a lot easier to have a positive attitude, though, when you have financial security.